My last post was roughly June 19, 2012. Since then, I've been mainly hiding, because of the cops.
I was hoping to sell my story to MGM or some other movie studio, but then McAfee had to show up and go completely bat-sh*t insane. No one's going to want to buy my story now when compared to his?
I'm Tony Stark after a weekend of drinking
I've given up trying to out-bat-shit-insane him. Its just not possible. Or it is, but its not worth my liver.
So yeah, that's pretty much it. Wrote up a resignation letter, and have some stuff packed for my move to Estonia, flight and train ticket booked (but have not paid the full sum till the house rental agreement is written up!).
Pretty excited, the role I've taken up is something completely out of my normal range of skills, I've been given the opportunity to work as a junior tradesman for a local Viru Valge brewing company. Pretty wild, pretty out there kind of job but this is something I've been thinking about my whole life.
Estonia's Coat of Arms
For the past 3 weeks everyone I know has practical given me the riot act on why I shouldn't move. Well, I've weighed my options, and in the worst case scenario, I can always go back to IT if I need to.
Its a huge pet peeve for me, that in this time and age, we're still using pieces of glass and silver paint in vehicles that can cost up to $1 million. I'm talking about rear-view and wing mirrors.
Imagine that! We're placing our lives and very expensive automobiles in the hands of glass, that costs maybe say $5 (just the glass, the case etc might cost you more). The automotive industry has improved by leaps and bounds since the first Ford T, but we cant seem to get away from rear-view and wing mirrors.
If you sneezed just right I'll shatter
Its 2011! We should have like, laser rangefinders with video cameras and FLIR built into them!
Pictured - FLIR. Not pictured - deer he just ran over
I can see the issues related to having a bunch of video screens or cameras built into your car and dash, but they cant be any more distracting then having to look at 3 separate pieces of glass. With the technology available, we're able to build in proximity detectors, distance (rangefinder) measurements (great for parallel parking) and, if you're feeling really high tech, an Idiot Detector 7000™. Just maybe.
Me? On top of getting rid of those silly wing mirrors (how many times has someone smashed yours off?), I'd want to mount a machine gun on my car. Just for those special moments when you have someone cut you off or jump queue. Would be perfect.
What? Too much?
So yeah.
Maybe its just me.
Dav out
Hey, if we can't solve any problems Then why do we lose so many tears? Oh, so you go again When the leading man appears Always the same theme Can't you see We've got ev'rything going on and on and on
Note: Drink sensibly. Note # 2: I just noticed the almost pun (really?), Mexico, tequila, Vegas... you feeling this?
1. Take a shot every time you shoot a coyote or scorpion (any type)
This might be a small problem, because at some point in time, you'll end up killing quite a few of these pesky critters (see Hidden Valley, huge spawn point).
Potency: 3 shots of tequila
2. Take a shot every time you run out of ammo (of any type - bullets or energy weapons)
VERY small chance. You might run out of ammo for ONE specific weapon you might have on you, but you're almost never dry in this game. Unless you're that guy that insists on carrying one weapon and it runs empty during a run in with a Deathclaw. Bye, it was nice knowing you.
Potency: 1 shot of tequila (and maybe some milk on the side)
3. Take a shot every time you hear a profanity
DANGER Will Robinson! This might put you over. I cant remember what the rating is on this game, but the colourful language will make it hard to stay sober. Or pick fights with your TV.
Potency: 4 shots of tequila (and a body shot)
4. Take a shot every time you hear an NPC say "Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter" (or something alike)
I'm sorry ma'am, your son died while playing a drinking game based on New Vegas. There's not much left of him, his body burst into flames when we tried to pry him out of the couch. He was just that flammable.
No, seriously.
They say these phrases ALL the time! Among others:
- When I got this assignment I was hoping there would be more gambling. - We won't go quietly, the legion can count on that - Ave. True to Caesar.
Since the longest gaming run I've had so far has been 6 hours, I've been tortured over and over again with these lines (I'm on the NCR end by the way). At one point, I saved the game, and then went all Apocalypse Now in an NCR encampment. That was satisfying.
Potency: 5 shots of tequila and Charlie Sheen crazy eyes thrown into the mix. Good luck and god bless you my son.
So, now you're drunk, and you're crazy like Charlie Sheen. Congrats.
Me, I'm going to play me some more Fallout New Vegas!
Dav out
Nevermind I’ll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best For you too Don’t forget me I beg I’ll remember you said Sometimes it lasts in love But sometimes it hurts instead
I got held up in traffic the other day, mainly because there was a building fire close to where I live. What got to me was the new fire department uniforms. For some reason, it looks like we've roped in Andy Warhol (and maybe his weight in coke) to design these colour swatches.
You call that a colour pallet?
I can't understand what they were going for. Fire cameo? If it was me, and I was headed into a blazing inferno, I'd like to do it knowing that if I fell over or something, that my buddies would be able to find me in all that smoke and flames and stuff. That's why a lot of first responders and other jobs that require high visibility get issued clothing with luminescent strips. So that they are visible.
Lets look at a simple comparison here. I'd make a uniform that stands out in a fire. A fire where, the bulk of the basic colours you'll be seeing would be either red, orange, red AND orange, and thereabouts.
Bob, Bob! What are you DOING? I can clearly see the guy through all those flames! Jesus man, what have you been smoking?
So lets go with what we have instead:
Oh. My. God. Bob, that is PERFECT! Lets just add in a little more red and orange, and we can safely camouflage ourselves in that fire!
Well I'm pretty sure that will work out real well in practice.
Damn, I should have put on my smoking jacket instead
Dav out
I know the things you wanted
They're not what you have
With all the people talkin'
It's driving you mad
I caught a movie the other night on TV, interestingly titled 'Men who stare at goats'. And what really closed the deal for me was the synopsis on TV that read:
A reporter gets more than he bargains for when he meets a special forces agent who reveals the existence of a secret, psychic military unit.
At the end of the movie, I was a little confused.
Don't shoot! I'm confused as it is!
Just WHAT was the movie about anyway? Was it a feel good military movie? A hippy life finding tour of a down and out journalist who finds camaraderie with a off beat ex military guy?
Or just how the Govt is really doing weird mind games with everyone?
A worry was cloud bursting, damn, what if he hit a plane? I already hate flying . . . . .
Over the weekend, I caught a movie that I've been aching (really, aching) to watch, Avatar. Not to be confused with some air bending cartoon, this was the big release by James Cameron, a movie that took a long time to make and bring to the big screens.
Sure, there were financial issues, as well as technology ones as well. James Cameron being James Cameron, he just built new crazy hardware and came up with software to go with his vision (stereoscopic 3D and God only knows what else).
There's even a video game (for the PC, consol and maybe even the iPhone) but since I don't own either one of those (no gaming PC, sadly) lets not go there.
The movie was an amazing feat for the eyes. Seriously. Even if you're not a Sci Fi fan, this movie looks pretty as hell.
This is from the game, instead of the movie, but you get the idea.
On to plot and nit-picking!
The movie reminded me so much of the wild west. Cowboys ride into the new frontier, find gold, silver, diamonds what have you, and start to mine the hell out of the local geography. Just so happens that you've got a bunch of semi-peaceful, tree hugging religious indigenous people on the same plot of land. So what do you do? Pretty much blow them out of the sky.
Hey, come back here, we just want to be friends.
(I love the tech and weapon arsenal in the movie by the way, just love it!)
At one point, the humans even decide to use a space shuttle to act as a bomber. Why? Why? If you asked anyone to commit to using a vehicle that's specially designed to get off the planet safely, and probably costed a bajilion dollars as a simple bomber, you'd get laughed out of the military academy! Just stay back, and lob missiles in over and over, job done. Don't go in with ground troops, you don't want anything left alive, shot the jungle up first! Jebus, if I had to take over one more godforsaken jungle country . . . .
The only grainy screenshot from the actual movie, ha ha!
Minor gripe, if you log off your Avatar, and it goes 'dead' like that, how does it stay alive? What keeps the Avatar unit biologics going? Sure, Autonomic nervous systems can keep it breathing, but what about nourishment etc? Huh? Riddle me that Mr Science Space guys!
Edit: Found a good gameplay video on YouTube, just thought it would be great to share it out.
But I jest. The movie was great. A little long, but an amazing movie nevertheless.
Six thumbs up (watch the movie, some animals have 6 legs).
I took the evening off on my busy hectic weekend to catch the latest flick from Bruce Willis, Surrogates.
This sir, is a movie poster.
The movie is basically about how science comes up with a way for humans to remotely control robots remotely. The technology then advances; I'm sure with some suited guy in a corporate office the size of a basketball court, into technology that lets everyone strap themselves into a control couch and instead let their surrogate robot body go out and live life. Living life via a robot. Life. Robot. I digress.
Am I the only one who thinks that technology that allows humans to remotely control, sense, feel and manage a humanoid robot has gone to waste, just because we have the crazy need to play a real life version of the Sims?
I can come up with at least a hindered hundred uses of the Surrogate technology, of which only 1 is showcased in the movie. Surrogates in the military, brilliant, that was my first choice.
But what about space exploration? It makes so much sense! Having people here on Earth remotely controlling a robot on the Moon, building our first real off-world habitat.
Get lost bub, this is a job for us robots, see?
Why stop at the Moon? Heck, lets aim for Mars. Strap the largest, fastest rocket you can build on and watch that baby burn its way to Mars. We wont have to factor in issues on G-Forces or anything, these are robots for god's sake! Heck, we can even toss out O2 tanks, and a whole load of logistic issues, both on the way to Mars, and when the robots get there.
Sure, there might be a lag issue (I don't see any in the Earth versions!) but I'm sure we'll be able to iron out the kinks.
Hi, I'm a robot. I've been here toiling for years to build you a condo on Mars.
Seriously.
Oh, the movie? Eh, was not the best movie from Bruce (I get to call him Bruce, we're just that close) but it wasn't all bad. Very thought provoking in regards to humans loosing their humanity when technology that should have been used to further progress our lives gets used for an awesome MMORPG instead.
I personally couldn't live in a world where everyone looked perfect. Who would we make fun of then?
For some reason, this song has lodged itself in my brain for the past 3 - 4 days. Oddly, I'm not a super huge fan of the Black Eyed Peas. I like some of their music, but not all, some of it is just way out there for me.
For this song, I found the music pretty catchy, but when I watched the video, I was blown out of my mind. I love sci-fi, this video reminded me of sci-fi books I've read (stop asking me why and stuff!)
Black Eyed Peas - Meet me half way
Its just nice to hear someone else besides that Will I Am guy, you know?
This video had a very Avatar feel to it. Avatar, being this movie.
Another gold nugget from Mossy (Green Molasses Dragon).
Apparently, unions have such a control over things over there in the US of A. When a company wanted to accommodate waterless urinals (I'm shocked there really is such a thing!)to receive some green sticker or another, they were blocked by the Plumber's Union since waterless urinal's would mean less work for the union.
No, really. Plumbers. Making sure they had work to do.
The President of the United States notices that his brick wall has broken down next to the White House. Being the proactive POTUS (thats Secret Service talk right there) that he is, he calls in 3 contractors. One from Russia, one from China and another from India.
All 3 contractors look at the wall, and the Russian contractor gets out some measuring tape, takes some figures in his notepad, makes a few calls to his suppliers for material costs and says to the Prez, "For you, USD$1000!". So the Prez replies "How did you come to that price?"
The Russian says "Simple. USD$700 for material. USD$100 for labour and USD$200 for me."
The Prez nods, and mentions for the Chinese contractor to give it a go. The Chinese contractor pulls out a tape measure, takes some notes, and right away has an estimate, "USD$700. USD$500 for material, USD$50 for labour, and rest, for me."
Impressed, the Prez now looks at the Indian contractor, and motions for a quote. The Indian contractor looks at the wall, and then at the other 2 contractors and says, "USD$2700."
Shocked at such a high sum, the Prez says "Wow, how did you come up with that? You didn't even measure or check with your suppliers? It's way over the other 2 guy's quotes!"
The Indian contractor beckons the Prez over and whisper's "Simple. USD$1000 for me. USD$1000 for you, and we hire the Chinese guy to do it for us."
I caught the movie "City of Ember" a few weeks back and I totally forgot to blog about it!
IMO, it was an amazing movie. The look and feel of a city built underground for hundreds of years and slowly slipping into decay was captured quite well.
Acting was good too, and the fact that Murray played a role that left him low key, but still entertaining.
If anything, I felt that the movie was a little too short for my taste. For people that have read the book, I'd like to hear from you on what were the major differences between the movie and the book, as I'm sure someone has taken 'a creative free hand' in making the movie.
I've never read the book, but the movie sure does make me want to read it! Book URL here.
I'll tell you what to do. Log on to Twitter and go "zomgs we all dai soon k thx". I'm seeing that happen as we speak! Yes, the H1N1(its what WHO wants us to call it!) flu is an issue but I think we need to look at it as a medical issue and not panic.
Panic =
Either that, or sign up for a new job. Say hello to our new masters:
I've just half way recuperated from a murder attempt involving a sore throat, the sniffles and one A/C unit set to stun 16° Celsius. If this was Cluedo, it would be in the hall, with the A/C, by the butler.
It strikes me that if you know someone well enough, you could come up with at least 5 ways to kill them. 10 ways if you use them twice!
Stay with me on this one.
Lets say you know someone has an allergy to almonds, you could maybe try:
Buy some almond extract, and make some Almond Cookies. Serve. Wait. Dead!
Buy some hand wash or shampoo that contains almond extract. Wash. Wait. Dead!
Make a gun that shoots almonds. Shoot. Dead!
Trick said person into eating almonds. "What, these? Nah these aren't almonds, these are.... Prunus dulcis!" Serve. Eat. Dead!
Get bitter almonds, process its oils, take out the old chemistry set, and WHAMMO bitter almonds may yield from 4–9mg of hydrogen cyanide per almond. Buy. Mix. Insert weird chemical process here. Serve. Wait. Dead!
Of course, this is just if you were trying to go out and um, fix someone for leaving the A/C on till you developed pneumonia like symptoms.
Dav out
The skilful employer of men will employ the wise man, the brave man, the covetous man, and the stupid man.
That's right, now you too, for a limited time only (and a whole lot of wood working skill) can end the year with a world ending machine! If I was in the army, I'd come up with a cool acronym, like WEM, but after WMD caught on, I'll pass on acronyms. For now.
This PDF gives you detailed step by step instruction on how to create your very own WEM .... er... ending.. machine thinggy.
The Day the Earth Stood Still . . .it would suck to be a sundial salesman. Having one half the Earth in daylight for half the year while the other side in darkness and then it would be reversed for the second part of the year would take a huge chunk out of sales!
Back to the movie. I caught The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) over the weekend, and I must admit, I enjoyed it. Of course, I am biased towards Sci-Fi of any kind, and Keanu Reeves, of course.
I am ashamed to say I've watched the original movie that was made sometime in the 50's, and there's something to say about a movie made way back then.
I wont compare if they've captured the essence of the old version with the 2008 movie, but there's enough there to get a good idea of what's going on. The intro where we see how Keanu Reeves' character has his DNA stolen might be confusing to take in but that's just me nitpicking.
Speaking of nits and picking, I would have rather seen a kick-ass poster like the one way back when, instead of what they've put up for the current movie.
Compare the bland 'new' poster:
To the alien-grabbed-my-woman-like-king-kong-did poster for the original movie:
SOCIALISM : You have 2 cows, so you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM : You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM : You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM : You have 2 cows. The State takes both away from you, takes you out behind the chemical shed and shoots you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM : You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM : You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION : You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION : You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION : You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you're sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION : You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION : You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
A BRITISH CORPORATION : You have two cows. Both are mad.
I found this via a chain email. I've always hated chain emails.
Last Monday was a public holiday here, so I didn't go to work. Now, Tuesday, I walk into the office, and as soon as I sit down to work, I get flooded with work and crap. The kind of thing you get on a Monday. Only now, its worse, because its a Monday + Tuesday thing, and somehow, clients seem to know this and get extra bothersome.
My hypothesis is that because Monday felt cheated by not getting people all messed up with the Monday Blues, its enscrolled its good friend Tuesday into being sucky as well.
