Greetings,
Sometimes while in traffic, you think of the weirdest things. Take today for example. Stuck in traffic, MP3's blasting away, and I thought it would be great to have a cannon strapped to my car, firing away at stupid people who were jumping queue's and weaving in and out of traffic.
Then I started wondering about the phrase "Fire at will", and how it differed from "Fire on / at my command". There is a difference! Mostly the first is where you fire away till you're out of ammo / rocks / the kitchen sink, and the other would be fire every time your boss tells you to.
I'd like to coin "Fire at will on my command when you think you've got a firing solution with a 99.9% hit probability". Its got a catchy ring to it.
Dav out
I've got this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling or else
I'll tear up this town
Greetings,
My last post was roughly June 19, 2012. Since then, I've been mainly hiding, because of the cops.
I was hoping to sell my story to MGM or some other movie studio, but then McAfee had to show up and go completely bat-sh*t insane. No one's going to want to buy my story now when compared to his?
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| I'm Tony Stark after a weekend of drinking |
I've given up trying to out-bat-shit-insane him. Its just not possible. Or it is, but its not worth my liver.
Trying something else now.
Dav out
Greetings,
Recently I've been peppered by a different kind of pop, namely K-Pop. I blame MTV (MTV Asia to be precise) because they tend to lace their normal music video programms with K-Pop music videos.
From what I've seen so far Korean Pop (K-Pop) comprises of a special formula:
- Male artist - androgynous
- Female artist - as many as you can pack into a bus
- Female artist - legs, as many as you can pack into a bus
- Any artist - must be able to say these words in English - "Yeah. Oh baby. Yes. OK etc"
- Not afraid of glitter and makeup
Seriously, some of these Korean bands have up to 13 members.
Thirteen.
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| Hi, can we just have the band in here please? Oh, you ARE the band? |
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Its not surprising that many of the female bands dress the way they do, its a multi million dollar (Won or Won, you pick) industry. Being sexy translates into more album sales, and more work.
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| For the Korean won before the North–South division, see Korean won. |
I'm not going to throw around K Pop band names, that's what Google is there for. Super Junior, Wonder Girls, 4 Minutes by the way are just to name a few. Band shelf life goes from anywhere between 6 months to 10 years, depending on the Scoville scale of how hot you are.
One bit of news I found a little amazing while reading up on K Pop is that there have been plans by
South Korea to weaponize it, just to annoy the hell out of North Korea. Just imagine playing
Avicii - Levels, over and over again just because your idiot neighbor does home improvement work on a Sunday morning.
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These aren't cute girls, they're actually Voltron in disguise.
You just need to know how to assemble them the right way |
I think the boots market should be doing very well in Korea.
Dav out
Blur
Sunday, January 29, 2012
| Author:
Dav
Greetings,
2012 has been a blur. Happy New Year. Happy Chinese New Year.
I can't seem to sort things out to make some breathing room, but I'm working on it. 2012 started out rough, its been a challenge but its not going to be too difficult to pull through.
Dav out
I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air
Now I'm breathing like I'm running cause you're taking me there
Don't you know...you spin me out of control
Greetings,
I use a
LOT of Excel in my everyday life. I blame work (of course I blame a lot of things on work, but that's for another blog post).
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| Crazy, but not that crazy |
Excel makes things..orderly. Order is good! Order is next to Godliness I hear. Anyway, I'm sidetracking.
I periodically (re: every Friday) send out an email to some of the guys at work with some weekend music, and after a while I was receiving requests for spesific songs and couldn't keep track of what I've sent out and what I had cued on for the following weeks.
Cue Excel!
So from a 3 column sheet, I progressed on to a 8 column Excel sheet, and more importantly, a drop down for song status where I could select 'Sent' or 'Not Sent'.
After a while (22 new rows) I was sorting each row by Status and I realised the way I was managing the 'Sent' status could be done in a more logical, automatic manner. So I fired up Google and looked up IF statements as well as Nested Statments.
Microsoft's Help page was not so much help because I was not looking for a complex macro. About.com's page on nested IF statements hit the nail on the head for me.
This page had a simple to understand example, and got me thinking that I could just simplify an IF formula in Excel to do what I wanted.
My requirements were simple, if I put in a date in a column (Sent Date), I wanted the column (Sent Status) to change to "Sent". If there was no date value, I'd want the column to say "Not Sent".
Warning, formula below!
=IF([@Date]> 1,"Sent", "Not Sent")
Sample excel below FYI
http://www.mediafire.com/?ksktpp1aqraljxg
So I've nerded out this week. I am ashamed.
Dav out
I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day
Ask her if she'll marry me
in some old fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
long before I reach the phone
And before my tongue has tricked me
Must I always be alone
Greetings,
Its a huge pet peeve for me, that in this time and age, we're still using pieces of glass and silver paint in vehicles that can cost up to $1 million. I'm talking about rear-view and wing mirrors.
Imagine that! We're placing our lives and very expensive automobiles in the hands of glass, that costs maybe say $5 (just the glass, the case etc might cost you more). The automotive industry has improved by leaps and bounds since the first Ford T, but we cant seem to get away from rear-view and wing mirrors.
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| If you sneezed just right I'll shatter |
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Its 2011! We should have like, laser rangefinders with video cameras and
FLIR built into them!
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| Pictured - FLIR. Not pictured - deer he just ran over |
I can see the issues related to having a bunch of video screens or cameras built into your car and dash, but they cant be any more distracting then having to look at 3 separate pieces of glass. With the technology available, we're able to build in proximity detectors, distance (rangefinder) measurements (great for parallel parking) and, if you're feeling really high tech, an Idiot Detector 7000™. Just maybe.
Me? On top of getting rid of those silly wing mirrors (how many times has someone smashed yours off?), I'd want to mount a machine gun on my car. Just for those special moments when you have someone cut you off or jump queue. Would be
perfect.
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| What? Too much? |
So yeah.
Maybe its just me.
Dav out
Hey, if we can't solve any problems
Then why do we lose so many tears?
Oh, so you go again
When the leading man appears
Always the same theme
Can't you see
We've got ev'rything going on and on and on
Greetings,
Well, now that we've set the tone below (that I'm playing Fallout: New Vegas), I think its safe for me to come out with my very own New Vegas drinking game. I'm pretty sure someone's done this before (no, I haven't Googled it just yet) but here's my spin on things. We'll be using tequila shots to measure the potency of each item, ranging between 1 to 5 shots (at 5 shots, you're the winner, champ!). So get that bottle of José Cuervo (aged, none of that white clear stuff) and your shot glasses, because we're headed to New Vegas!
Note: Drink sensibly.
Note # 2: I just noticed the almost pun (really?), Mexico, tequila, Vegas... you feeling
this?
1. Take a shot every time you shoot a coyote or scorpion (any type)
This might be a small problem, because at some point in time, you'll end up killing quite a few of these pesky critters (see Hidden Valley, huge spawn point).
Potency: 3 shots of tequila
2. Take a shot every time you run out of ammo (of any type - bullets or energy weapons)
VERY small chance. You might run out of ammo for ONE specific weapon you might have on you, but you're almost never dry in this game. Unless you're
that guy that insists on carrying one weapon and it runs empty during a run in with a Deathclaw. Bye, it was nice knowing you.
Potency: 1 shot of tequila (and maybe some milk on the side)
3. Take a shot every time you hear a profanity
DANGER Will Robinson! This might put you over. I cant remember what the rating is on this game, but the colourful language will make it hard to stay sober. Or pick fights with your TV.
Potency: 4 shots of tequila (and a body shot)
4. Take a shot every time you hear an NPC say "Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter" (or something alike)
I'm sorry ma'am, your son died while playing a drinking game based on New Vegas. There's not much left of him, his body burst into flames when we tried to pry him out of the couch. He was just
that flammable.
No,
seriously.
They say these phrases ALL the time! Among others:
-
When I got this assignment I was hoping there would be more gambling.
- We won't go quietly, the legion can count on that
- Ave. True to Caesar.
Since the longest gaming run I've had so far has been 6 hours, I've been tortured over and over again with these lines (I'm on the NCR end by the way). At one point, I saved the game, and then went all Apocalypse Now in an NCR encampment.
That was satisfying.
Potency: 5 shots of tequila
and Charlie Sheen crazy eyes thrown into the mix. Good luck and god bless you my son.
So, now you're drunk, and you're crazy like Charlie Sheen. Congrats.
Me, I'm going to play me some more Fallout New Vegas!
Dav out
Nevermind
I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best
For you too
Don’t forget me
I beg
I’ll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead
Greetings,
I got held up in traffic the other day, mainly because there was a building fire close to where I live. What got to me was the new fire department uniforms. For some reason, it looks like we've roped in Andy Warhol (and maybe his weight in coke) to design these colour swatches.
You call that a colour pallet?
I can't understand what they were going for. Fire cameo? If it was me, and I was headed into a blazing inferno, I'd like to do it knowing that if I fell over or something, that my buddies would be able to find me in all that smoke and flames and stuff. That's why a lot of first responders and other jobs that require high visibility get issued clothing with luminescent strips. So that they are
visible.
Lets look at a simple comparison here. I'd make a uniform that stands out in a fire. A fire where, the bulk of the basic colours you'll be seeing would be either red, orange, red AND orange, and thereabouts.
Bob, Bob! What are you DOING? I can clearly see the guy through all those flames! Jesus man, what have you been smoking?
So lets go with what we have instead:
Oh. My. God. Bob, that is PERFECT! Lets just add in a little more red and orange, and we can safely camouflage ourselves in that fire!
Well I'm pretty sure that will work out real well in practice.
Damn, I should have put on my smoking jacket instead
Dav out
I know the things you wanted
They're not what you have
With all the people talkin'
It's driving you mad
Greetings,
The recent news on people brought up for wrong doing (during work at an ex company location) has me thinking, is there even a statute of limitations on what you've done, and if there is, how long back does it go?
Alcatel Lucent, NoW and other companies are feeling the brunt of these issues, but its the people working under the management that's being offered as sacrificial lambs. I'm not saying that these people DIDN'T know what they were doing, but in some cases its what you do on a day to day basis at work and never really think about it later.
No, I don't go around bribing people nor do I hack phones. Haxx0r!
Its just, how long back in time do the need to look before they find something incriminating? I don't want someone to go back 15 years in my past and say they found me drinking a can of Coke at my first job as a store boy just because someone dusted off a VHS of a security cam.
Its an interesting notion, but its something I'm trying not to dwell on.
Dav out
Greetings,
Here's my very own personal steps on how not to have a
grape great day:
- Go to the store. See South African grapes on sale
- Spend 10 minutes trying to figure out which sack of grapes have the least mushed up grapes on the vine, only to settle for a prepacked tray
- Take grapes home
- Set grapes (in tray and cling wrap) on counter top, ohh and ahhh at the thought of eating these in front of the telly
- Peal off cling wrap
- Have grapes fall down the counter top to the floor in a cascade of luscious, juicy globes of goodness
- Dance away and backwards to avoid falling grapes, like they were globules of VX gas (See the movie 'The Rock' for vague reference)
- Mash and squish 10 - 15 grapes with step # 7 above
- Stop. Stare. Facepalm at mess
- Spend the next 20 minutes cleaning juice splatter from floor, cupboards and every-god-damn-where else
- Eat remaining 10 grapes
- Rue buying grapes
Dav out
Greetings,
I don't really watch all that much TV, and god forbid if it was American
Effigies (Idol, Latin!). The thing is, I was watching this documentary on
TBM's and there was an advert for the American Idol finals.
Imagine my surprise when I saw this guy's photo:
Hey ma, look at me!I've never heard him sing, but the only thing that comes to my mind when I look at that photo is Alfred E. Neuman. If you don't know who that is, then you're way too young!
Come on, look at the similarities!
What? Me worry? Only if I don't win in American IdolIts hilarious that they've made that 'Reality TV' show last this long. What is it at now, Season 11? I can't even remember all of the Idols.
Dav out
If you think you're getting away
I will prove you wrong
I'll take you all the way
Boy, just come along
hear me when I say
Hey
Greetings,
That's it, its official! Charlie Sheen's out, Ashton Kutcher is in.
.....
Its a break from the norm, I know, but its all
over the news!
Ashton Kutcher has like, a
bajilion Twitter fans. I think the big thing producers from the Two and a Half Men sitcom are aiming for would be for him to be able draw in his large younger following to the series. Not to say its a great idea, but just how are they going to write him in?
I've never been a fan of the series, in fact I've only watched it on and off as it is. I never quite found it funny, then again I'm not a die hard Sheen fan as most of the hardcore viewers are (or were?).
What I'm sure of is that Charlie Sheen wouldn't be too happy to hear this. Ashton you've just made a new enemy, one with tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
Would be pretty good to see what goes on now online.
Dav out
Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin' out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
Greetings,
It feels like every time I start the damn thing up, there's an update. I'm talking about the PS3 here. Sure, 'Sorney' wants to make sure their system and software is updated and there are those pesky hackers running around trying to crack the consol, but why, dear lord WHY are there so many updates?
Pirates? Oh come on!
New features? Oh come ON!
Anyway, long story short, not having a bigger bandwidth sucks, its like trying to suck quick drying cement through a crazy straw.
Lucky for me, I found out (OK so I'm slow, sue me)that you're able to download the update to a USB stick and then run the update off that instead of directly downloading the update via the PS3. EVERYONE must already know of this, but here's a
link to the Sony PS3 site anyway.
I'm cooking with gas now!
Dav out
Greetings,
Microsoft has found yet another way to annoy me! Now, with Windows Live Messenger 2011 (or the Windows Live suit) you not only get an updated version of MSN Messenger, but its now more tightly integrated with all sorts of services that you never wanted.
First major issue, advertising. Windows Live Messenger sees fit to inject an advertisement right smack on your chat box, taking up space and distracting you till you KILL it with a click of the (x) button. Problem is, that sucker comes right on back if you close the chat window (which I do, REGULARLY!).
Hello, I'm here to bother you till you curl up in a cave and dieSo I Googled around and it seemed for a while that you could only get rid of the advertising by either downloading a 3rd party patch or haxing your b0x (editing some registry so your machine doesn't 'see' the advertising URL / feed).
But you can breathe a sigh of relief, because apparently
this site details exactly how you can disable said advertising without any patches and registry edits (its actually a checkbox within Live).
All your base are belong to us, and we can switch off adverts too nowOther issues are mainly how you're not really able to just save your email login info without your password (its now email AND password together) which makes it harder to stop someone from logging into your account if you leave your machine without locking it. Oh and the Social integration. Why? Why do I want to go down that slippery road?
Bleah.
Dav out
Greetings,
I had an extended weekend due to a string of holidays, and exhausting my game library (I finished KillZone 2!), I thought I'd try watching some news on either CNN or BBC. What with all the stuff going on in Egypt and the rest of the world, I was a little worried that I was becoming a hermit. Or that something you find under an upturned rotting log.
I digress.
So I switch on to CNN and I see this:
- Kate Middleton's Royal-Blue Dress Sold Out
- Blue Dresses - Kate Middleton's style
- Stylish blue dress picked by Kate
- Kate's Fashion Sense - Blue is the new Black!
- Issa London dress the princess-to-be
- Issa London cuts Kate Middleton a figure
- Issa London's blue dress sold out thanks to Kate Middleton
- Blue dress by Issa London - Sold out royally
- Royal dress sold out
- Egypt's Mubarak refuses to quit protestors
Guess we know where our priorities lie.
Dav out
Greetings,
The Blackberry is LOADED with stuff. Just uh, loaded. Recently I found an icon on my home screen that was too small to view. It looked like a green triangle, or even a house.
After 2 days of trying to figure it out (Google and borrowing people's glasses hoping I could magnify the icon) I was on the edge of going to the phone store and choking the life out of the guy there.
The Blackberry alert icons usually show up with a small star, and if you're not sure what the alert star is for, it usually shows up when you start to browse the applications within your phone. The alert star will be shown clearly over the application in question (usually a new update, or new version of the application is now available etc).
That icon was no where to be seen. I LITERALLY went through every, single, application, possible on the phone.
Now, 2 more hours of intensive Goggling and I've found the answer!
The icon is from BBM Groups. Go into Blackberry Messenger, then under the Blackberry Groups section you should see the updates. In my case, it was a new Blackberry group chat.
So now you know.
And knowing is half the battle. The other half is hiding from technology.
Dav out
Greetings,
I've noticed that my posts tend to be leaning towards the cynical when I have long days at work. I never have bad day's at work, only uh, long, long days. Some days usually run into long weeks, or even a long month.
The PS3 tends to help, but honestly, some days of intensive gaming (OK, more like an hour or so) leaves me more keyed up and tired. Can you imagine that? Playing a game makes me tired? Go figure.
The cynic in me lives strong. I'm giving up trying to make any sense in this post. It started out well, sort of didn't make it to the climax, and now dies.
As I would say to Sukovich, Kek!
Dav out
Greetings,
As usual, most of my convo's with Mossy bring to light the latest and best items off the interwebs. Today's nugget of info is a site called "Let me Google that for you" (
http://lmgtfy.com/). Its a great site if you're constantly being asked for info (like me) that can and should be looked up on Google. I'm not saying lets go Google how to take out your appendix, but yeah, for most questions, Google is your friend.
Dav out
Greetings,
This isn't me getting sick, this is me getting upset that I'm 20,000 feet in the air.
Yes,
Dimenhydrinate, you sir, are my friend. I need to stock up on this asap.
21 000 feet, as you may already know, is 6 400.8 meters. IMO, that's 6 390 meters too high up in the damn sky. I'm ok with jet engines, just not turbo props, and not small hulled planes like the Dash 7.
Dav out
Greetings,
I've made it through 2 months of not posting any blog posts! Yay for me.
Many of you would be asking me, how did you do it? Well dear reader, let me tell you how, you too can be absent from the blogosphere for months on end!
- Get a job! This is the best way, since it will soon suck the very life essence out of you, and you will be left with no time at all to blog.
- Become a zombie.
- Get a job being a zombie. This isn't the same as the bullet above, that was just being a zombie in general. Getting a job being a zombie means you have KPI's and meetings to attend. My guess would be meetings on brains and why are we not getting enough braiiiiiins?
- Kill the interwebs. I left this one to the last. Its common knowledge that you can easily kill the interwebs if you typed Google into Google. Go on, try it. Ok, fine, don't try it!
High on my list right now would be a few days worth of sleep.
Dav out
We went so wrong and what you did but I still feel this way.
And I can't believe it, or forget it, what I saw today.
